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Blowtox and Burlap

Full Episode

E213 | Airdate: 2013-02-13 | TV-PG

Ryan Shay skips a party to go to an art house movie with Tessa on Valentine’s Day. Yes, you read that correctly.

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A city kid's biggest nightmare becomes her reality when her dad moves them from Manhattan to the suburbs.

CAST

Jane Levy (Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, Castle Rock)
Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm, RV)
Jeremy Sisto (Law & Order, Clueless)
Carly Chaikin (Mr. Robot, The Last Song)
Allie Grant (Weeds, All Night)
Chris Parnell (Hot Rod, Saturday Night Live)
Rex Lee (Entourage, Young & Hungry)
Ana Gasteyer (Mean Girls, Saturday Night Live)

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS

Emily Kapnek (Parks and Recreation, Splitting Up Together)
Patricia Breen (Big Love)

EPISODES (22)

Pilot

S1: E1 Airdate: 9.28.11

Tessa's nightmare becomes a reality when her dad moves them from New York City to the suburbs.
The Barbecue

S1: E2 Airdate: 10.5.11

George is forced to do the new neighbor barbecue thing. Will his grill pass the test?
The Chatterer

S1: E3 Airdate: 10.12.11

Tessa joins the school newspaper and helps Malik turn it into a tabloid. Maybe now people will actually read it?
Don't Call Me Shirley

S1: E4 Airdate: 10.19.11

9-1-1, this is an emergency. Sheila Shay’s doll collection is missing.
Halloween

S1: E5 Airdate: 10.26.11

Tessa dresses as a suburban girl for Halloween but the real scary part comes when… she actually likes it.
Charity Case

S1: E6 Airdate: 11.2.11

When Tessa tries to get Chatswin High to give back to communities in need, they think she might be the real charity case.
Sweet Sixteen

S1: E7 Airdate: 11.16.11

Tessa just wants a simple sweet sixteen until Dallas bribes her with a massive party and a performance from her favorite band.
Thanksgiving

S1: E8 Airdate: 11.23.11

Tessa finds out that George has been secretly visiting the city. Let’s see how that conversation goes over at Thanksgiving.
The Nutcracker

S1: E9 Airdate: 12.7.11

Tessa tries to get George and his ex back together, but things get tricky when she catches him flirting with the art teacher.
Driving Miss Dalia

S1: E10 Airdate: 1.4.12

In the ultimate act of suburban surrender, George joins the country club.
Out In The Burbs

S1: E11 Airdate: 1.11.12

Tessa shows the new guy around school and becomes convinced she knows exactly which clique he belongs in.
The Casino Trip

S1: E12 Airdate: 1.18.12

George takes a guys trip to Atlantic City that immediately goes off the rails.
Sex in the Suburbs

S1: E13 Airdate: 2.8.12

Tessa discovers that the perks of dating Scott Strauss include making Dalia jealous and…that’s about it.
The Body

S1: E14 Airdate: 2.15.12

Tessa fails gym class and runs for student body president to try to change the school’s obsession with sports. A for effort?
Fire With Fire

S1: E15 Airdate: 2.22.12

Dalia and Tessa swap BFFs, which is almost as surprising as Dallas getting a younger boyfriend (guest star Wilmer Valderrama).
Poetic Injustice

S1: E16 Airdate: 2.29.12

Tessa tries to impress the new poetry teacher (guest star Jackie Geary), but Ms. Evans prefers Dalia’s writing. How rude.
Independence Day

S1: E17 Airdate: 3.14.12

George picks Tessa up late, so she decides to get a job to pay for her own car. Call it a responsible tantrum.
Down Time

S1: E18 Airdate: 4.11.12

Lisa and Malik try to set up Tessa with anyone, literally anyone, other than Ryan Shay.
Entering Eden

S1: E19 Airdate: 4.18.12

Sparks fly between George and Eden (guest star Alicia Silverstone) at the Chatswin Farmer’s Market. Oh, suburban lust.
Hear No Evil

S1: E20 Airdate: 5.2.12

Just as George and Eden’s relationship gets serious, Sheila Shay meddles. But are we surprised?
The Great Compromise

S1: E21 Airdate: 5.9.12

Tessa adjusts to having Eden in the house, but George has issues with Eden’s parenting.
The Motherload

S1: E22 Airdate: 5.16.12

Just as Tessa was feeling at home, she’s ostracized from the town’s Mom’s Day. Is it time to go back to Manhattan yet?
Homecoming

S2: E1 Airdate: 10.17.12

Tessa returns from her summer in the city with a new hobby, but can the suburbs compete with the Manhattan music scene?
The Witch of East Chatswin

S2: E2 Airdate: 10.24.12

What’s spooky about feminist-inspired Halloween costumes? Dalia and her clique dressed up in them.
Ryan's Song

S2: E3 Airdate: 10.31.12

Dallas brings her life coach on her first date with George, as one does.
Foam Finger

S2: E4 Airdate: 11.7.12

"The Ks" ask Tessa for guidance after Dalia leaves the clique behind for a new BFF.
The Wishbone

S2: E5 Airdate: 11.14.12

Dallas fires Chef Alan in order convince George to host the holiday. Good luck, Architect George.
Friendship Fish

S2: E6 Airdate: 11.28.12

Dallas gives George a Chatswin makeover and, yes, it was the best day of her life.
Krampus

S2: E7 Airdate: 12.5.12

All Tessa wants for Christmas is…to stay in Chatswin?
Black Thai

S2: E8 Airdate: 1.9.13

Tessa and Dalia receive wildly different gifts after getting their PSAT scores which, naturally, leads to a family feud.
Junior Secretary's Day

S2: E9 Airdate: 1.16.13

George struggles to manage Tessa’s wisdom teeth recovery when Fred Shay moves in.
Chinese Chicken

S2: E10 Airdate: 1.23.13

If you thought Chatswin wasn’t cool before, just wait until you hear George’s new Dad Rock band.
Yakult Leader

S2: E11 Airdate: 1.30.13

The Shays convince Tessa to set Lisa up, but Scott Strauss is probably, definitely, not what they had in mind.
Body Talk

S2: E12 Airdate: 2.6.13

Ever had a house so big it spanned two school districts? Talk to Dalia, who just found out she’ll have to switch schools.
Blowtox and Burlap

S2: E13 Airdate: 2.13.13

Ryan Shay skips a party to go to an art house movie with Tessa on Valentine’s Day. Yes, you read that correctly.
T-Ball and Sympathy

S2: E14 Airdate: 2.20.13

Tessa is the talk of the town when she becomes Chatswin’s most sought-after relationship expert.
Leaving Chatswin

S2: E15 Airdate: 2.27.13

George grapples with the death of an old friend.
How to Be a Baby

S2: E16 Airdate: 3.6.13

Tessa quits her job to intern with Jill and learn the ropes of the writing business.
Eat, Pray, Eat

S2: E17 Airdate: 3.20.13

Dallas finds comfort in carbs after a disappointing gift exchange with George.
Brown Trembler

S2: E18 Airdate: 3.27.13

After his divorce, Noah and his son move in with the Altmans.
Decemberfold

S2: E19 Airdate: 4.3.13

George, Noah and Fred compete to become Mr. December in the Dads of Chatswin calendar.
Go, Gamblers!

S2: E20 Airdate: 4.10.13

Ryan Shay must pick a college, putting his relationship with Tessa to the test. And we all know how he is with tests.
Apocalypse Meow

S2: E21 Airdate: 4.17.13

George and Dallas tell Tessa and Dalia they’re moving in together, but can the girls go from mortal enemies to sisters?
Stray Dogs

S2: E22 Airdate: 4.17.13

Tessa refuses to move again, even if it means hiding out in the school bathroom until George agrees to her demands.
No Me Gusta, Mami

S3: E1 Airdate: 1.15.14

George and Tessa finally bond when they set out to save their dog from Sheila Shay.
Victor Ha

S3: E2 Airdate: 1.22.14

After developing empty-nest syndrome, the Shays foster a young boy who they believe is a mini Ryan.
Open Door Policy

S3: E3 Airdate: 1.29.14

Tessa tries to get George over his breakup, but when Ryan comes home, she realizes she’s not over her breakup yet, either.
The Birds and the Biederman

S3: E4 Airdate: 2.5.14

Dallas sees George at the dog park and Tessa and Dalia must now negotiate their parent’s territory.
Blame It On The Rainstick

S3: E5 Airdate: 2.26.14

Noah is released from a court-mandated anger management program and, to everyone’s surprise, it might have worked?
About a Boy-Yoi-Yoing

S3: E6 Airdate: 3.5.14

George falls in love. With a juice bar.
I'm Just Not That Into Me

S3: E7 Airdate: 3.12.14

Tessa meets the male version of herself and develops an instant crush.
Catch and Release

S3: E8 Airdate: 3.26.14

Lisa proposes to Malik, and while you’d think marriage would free her from Sheila Shay, have you met Sheila Shay?
The Ballad of Piggy Duckworth

S3: E9 Airdate: 4.2.14

George, Noah and Fred go on a group date, but the only person they attract turns out to be a stalker.
No, You Can't Sit With Us

S3: E10 Airdate: 4.23.14

Tessa coaches a young, social outcast for the Miss Chatswin pageant.
Dalia Nicole Smith

S3: E11 Airdate: 4.30.14

Can’t say going on a double date with Tessa was George’s brightest idea, but it was a whole new take on family bonding.
Les Lucioles

S3: E12 Airdate: 5.7.14

It’s wedding day, but can Lisa and Malik’s love withstand a family boycott and a nagging Sheila Shay?
Stiiiiiiill Horny

S3: E13 Airdate: 5.14.14

Tessa takes up knitting as a distraction from her true feelings about love. Will she accept it, or hide behind the yarn?

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