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Safes & Snakes

S1 : E4

TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 09.19.13

In Orangeville, the buyers resort to head games to psych out the competition.

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At storage auctions in Canada, high-stakes buyers convene daily, bidding against one another on repossessed and forgotten storage units.

Cast

Ursula Stolf, Paul Kenny, Bogart Kenny

Executive Producers

Joanne Virgo

full-episodes (36)

Northern Lights, Northern Fights

S1 : E1 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 08.29.13

At storage auctions in Canada, buyers convene daily, bidding against one another on repossessed and forgotten storage units. Following four teams of bidders looking to score big.
Orangeville Sqeeze Play

S1 : E2 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 09.05.13

In Orangeville Rick and Cindy rock it, Paul and Bogart blow it, and Ursula goes bid crazy.
You Just Got Roy'd

S1 : E3 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 09.12.13

Brampton becomes a battleground as Roy blasts the buyers with rude and crude comments.
Safes & Snakes

S1 : E4 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 09.19.13

In Orangeville, the buyers resort to head games to psych out the competition.
It's Like Archaelogy, You Dig?

S1 : E5 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 09.26.13

North York becomes an archaeological dig as buyers unearth pieces of the past.
Ain't No Locker Like a Birthday Locker

S1 : E6 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 10.03.13

Cindy hopes to find something special in North York for Rick’s birthday.
Wanna Smell My Hair

S1 : E7 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 10.10.13

Roy comes to the auction disguised as his long-haired, gold-toothed, crazy cousin Ray. Chaos ensues.
Fashion Passion

S1 : E8 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 10.17.13

Ursula goes all in for a fashion locker in Rick and Cindy’s hometown of Newmarket.
Taunted, Haunted and Most Wanted

S1 : E9 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 10.24.13

Ursula’s sister comes to the auction in Weston to offer a little support, and a lot of criticism.
Crazy From The Heat

S1 : E10 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 10.31.13

One way or another, all the buyers get burned on the hottest auction day of the year.
The Thrilla in Clairevilla

S1 : E11 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 11.07.13

It’s father vs. son as Paul challenges Bogart to see who can get the best locker.
Big Cow Trouble in Little Ajax

S1 : E12 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 11.14.13

The grand opening of Paul and Bogart’s store finally arrives, but a kink is put into their plans.
All Out Storage War

S1 : E13 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.09.14

Tempers flare and prices soar as the buyers confront aggressive guest auctioneer Jeff Schwartz.
Canadian Pecker

S1 : E14 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.19.14

Guest auctioneer Patrick Pecker brings “the full Pecker” to the auction, fuelling his feud with Roy.
A-Locker-Lypse Now

S1 : E15 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.23.14

Roy suits up in full army gear to declare war on the buyers in Scarborough.
Even Veterans Get The Blues

S1 : E16 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.30.14

Roy’s paltry gifts are no match for Cindy’s foul mood at the auction in Scarborough.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Instigators

S1 : E17 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.06.14

The Thornhill buyers run for cover when a self-help CD gives Roy a new lease on his egomaniacal life.
Fast Times at Wedgie-mont High

S1 : E18 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.13.14

A Brampton auction near some of the gang’s old high school proves they’re all still rowdy teenagers.
Com-Paul-Sive Behaviour

S1 : E19 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.20.14

Paul’s locker addiction reaches new highs (and lows) at the Wasaga Beach auction.
Psychic Psych Out

S1 : E20 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.27.14

Rick and Cindy bring a psychic to help them land the best lockers in Don Mills.
Cold Turkeys

S1 : E21 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.06.14

Rick and Cindy try to give up smoking at an auction in Leslieville.
Worst Best Man Ever

S1 : E22 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.13.14

A wedding-bound Roy arrives at a Guelph auction in his tuxedo.
The Lame, Sick and The Crazy

S1 : E23 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.20.14

With Bogart on crutches and Cindy nursing a cold, it’s a tough day at the auction.
Crate Expectations

S1 : E24 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.27.14

Excitement runs high as Mississauga plays host to a charity auction of highend storage crates.
A Bad Day to Be Bogart

S1 : E25 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 04.24.14

Paul brings Bogart’s two older sisters to an auction in Weston. Poor Bogart.
Ursula's Just Not That Into You

S1 : E26 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 05.01.14

Big-time buyer Jeff Gardner returns for an auction in Orillia, but he’s really interested in Ursula.
It's Don's World, We're Just Bidding In It

S1 : E27 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 05.08.14

All the buyers compete for the attention of Don the auctioneer.
Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Insult

S1 : E28 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 05.15.14

Roy’s hilarious “Paul" disguise causes mirth and mayhem at an auction in downtown Toronto.
Giddy Up

S1 : E29 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 05.22.14

Nearly all the buyers have it out for each other at an auction in Cedarbrae, ON.
L'il Roy

S1 : E30 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 05.29.14

Roy brings a “Roy-Puppet” to an auction in Brampton, and they’re both very naughty little boys.
Paul and Bogart Make a Promo

S1 : E31 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.15.14

Paul and Bogart shoot a low-budget commercial for their store during an auction in Toronto.
London Storage is Falling Down

S1 : E32 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.19.14

An out-of-town auction in London, Ontario gives rise to new treasures and old grudges.
O Brother, I Hate Thou

S1 : E33 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.26.14

Roy immediately regrets bringing his little brother to an auction in Toronto.
Spies Like Urs

S1 : E34 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 07.03.14

Ursula’s private investigator husband spies on the buyers at an auction in Markham.
Brawl in the Family

S1 : E35 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 07.10.14

Bogart finally snaps when Paul buys yet another lousy locker at an auction in Toronto.
All's Fair in Love and Storage War

S1 : E36 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 07.17.14

Life changes dramatically for nearly all the buyers at an auction in Toronto.
Bigger Stronger Meaner Dumber

S2 : E1 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.08.15

The buyers return to Canada’s storage auction scene bigger, stronger, meaner and crazier than ever.
That's Mister Pecker To You

S2 : E2 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.15.15

Fill-in auctioneer Patrick Pecker returns to call an auction and chaos ensues.
Who Wants To Be A Bazillionaire

S2 : E3 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.22.15

Ursula’s new employee Tania makes a big impression at an auction in Toronto.
Cause That's What Janitors Do!

S2 : E4 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 12.16.14

Night janitors Mike and Armando are ready to get in the action at auctions in Emery Village.
Shirt Happens

S2 : E5 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.05.15

Buying partnerships are tested. Cindy buys Rick a spiffy new shirt for an auction in Brampton.
Keep Your Friends Close And The Veterans Closer

S2 : E6 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.12.15

Paul and Bogart vow to take down Rick and Cindy at an auction.
Knock-Out Punch

S2 : E7 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.19.15

Ursula declares war on Roy at an auction in the Old Weston neighborhood of Toronto.
Worst Laid Plans

S2 : E8 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.26.15

Paul and Bogart put away all their gimmicks and tricks for an auction in Leaside.
Chini-Chilla Bang Bang

S2 : E9 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.05.15

Ursula hopes her chinchilla will bring her luck at auction and Paul and Bogart make a chastity vow.
Roy Marks His Territory

S2 : E10 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.12.15

Tensions between Roy and Ursula rise at an auction. Paul and Bogart look for a leg up by any means.
Kennys vs. Kennys

S2 : E11 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.19.15

Bogart’s sisters team up with Roy in Cambridge. Ursula meets with magician Zack Mirza.
Roy Dimbeck: The Roy Dimbeck Story

S2 : E12 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.26.15

Roy records his memoirs at an auction in Mississauga. Ursula finds a place to stash booze.
Shlock Therapy

S2 : E13 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.19.15

Roy offers psychological analysis at an auction. Ursula tries to rein in Paul’s bidding habits.
Cougar Pants!

S2 : E14 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.19.15

Cindy and Rick search for lockers in Toronto. Paul and Bogart negotiate with The Lidquidator.
Confessions Of A Dangerous Mime

S2 : E15 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 03.26.15

Roy brings a mime to an auction in Corktown and later gets a lesson from BT’s Frank Ferragine.
Utopia?

S2 : E16 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.15.15

The buyers set their expectations exceedingly high for an auction in a tiny town named Utopia.
Three Kennys Are Worse Than None

S2 : E17 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.15.15

Paul and Bogart enlist Paul’s hopelessly inexperienced brother Barry at an auction in Brampton.
Instigator In Training

S2 : E18 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.16.15

Roy shows his nephew what being an instigator is all about at an auction in South Etobicoke.
Goji, Bogie, And The Yogi

S2 : E19 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.16.15

Bogart’s hooked on goji berry juice and plans to spread the word at an auction in Milton.
Exceedingly Loud And Uncomfortably Close

S2 : E20 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.17.15

Roy tries to distract other buyers by invading their personal space at an auction in Mississauga.
Pranking The Monkeys

S2 : E21 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.17.15

Roy makes mischief with an assortment of classic pranks on the buyers at an auction in Toronto.
All Aboard The Party Train

S2 : E22 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.18.15

Roy hypes the epic bachelor party he planned for Bogart, but the debauchery can’t begin quite yet.
Freaks And Geeks

S2 : E23 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.18.15

New buyer Tommy is guaranteed to make an impression on the buyers at an auction in Brampton.
Honeymoon Capital Of The Storage World

S2 : E24 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.19.15

The buyers attend an auction in Niagara Falls and uncover tons of weird and unique discoveries.
Hug Life

S2 : E25 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.19.15

Paul and Bogart attend an auction with their life coach and must “hug it out” when problems arise.
Between A Brawk And A Hard Place

S2 : E26 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.22.15

Roy trains a parrot to trash talk the other buys for him at an auction in Etobicoke.
Two Men And Fake Baby

S2 : E27 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.22.15

Bogart brings a fake baby with him and Paul to an auction in Mississauga much to Paul’s dismay.
The Birds And The Bees And The Bulls

S2 : E28 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 09.22.15

Rick and Cindy experience huge TMI by taking the bull by the horns at an auction in Ontario.
Ursula Goes Bananas!

S2 : E29 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 06.23.15

Roy insults Ursula when he decides her coat makes her look like a monkey at an auction.
One Man Party

S2 : E30 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 08.19.15

Roy throws a party for himself at an auction in Emery Village much to the chagrin of the buyers.
May The Schwarz Be With You

S2 : E31 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.15.16

Jeff Schwarz, aka “The Liquidator,” wreaks chaos on an auction when he returns as guest auctioneer.
Paulie's Angels: Full Throttle

S2 : E32 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.15.16

Paul’s daughters are back, and ready to take over the auction in Caledon as their own team.
Dude Where's My Locker?

S2 : E33 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 02.13.15

Ursula decides to be one of the boys at an auction in Ajax and runs into buyers Mike and Armando.
Cindy Hayden: Voodoo Child

S2 : E34 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.22.16

Cindy brings voodoo dolls of all the other buyers to an auction in the Humberlea area of Toronto.
Storage Wars: Extreme Edition!!!

S2 : E35 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.22.16

Bogart makes the world’s first “extreme locker buying” video at an auction in North Toronto.
All's Well That Ends Wildly Ridiculous

S2 : E36 | TV-PG | 25 min | Aired: 01.22.16

Roy hires impersonators of the other buyers and brings them to an auction as a distraction.

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